January 25, 2022
By: Bill Conger
“I never want to be known as a victim, but a victor in my circumstances.” Those are the inspiring words of local author Holly Moore, who recently released her first book, Broken Being A Victor Not A Victim. The autobiography tells of the tumultuous times she and her husband, Smithville Church of God minister Chris Moore have experienced and overcome.
“My husband, Chris Moore was the inspiration and push in getting our story written,” Holly Moore tells WJLE. “He has always asked me to write a book on our testimony, but I felt that telling the story would cause me to relive the pain, and I just wanted to bury the past. Soon after journaling my ideas I found it very therapeutic to express my feelings about our life.”
Moore candidly tells of her long struggle with infertility. While she considered herself a person with a patient heart, when the months of waiting to become pregnant stretched into years, she decided to “fail God on purpose.”
“I told him He couldn’t answer my prayer,” Moore recalls. “Even after the miscarriage, I told God you don’t know what it’s like to lose a child, and I heard him speak to me and say, “I lost my son.” At that moment I knew God could understand my pain. Jesus died for all of us. God felt the pain and looked away because it was too much to bear. We think there’s no way God can relate to all of our problems we face, but even if it’s not the same situation, it’s relatable. You can even find stories in the Bible of where others felt struggles. From Sarah, Hannah and other women in the Bible struggling to conceive or the life of Job where everything around you has been stripped away. I feel like I can relate to others now. Even if we didn’t experience the same tragedy, it’s amazing how God will use the same emotions and words that minister to the broken.”
Moore felt all alone in her journey to conceive. Still, she remained hopeful every day for an answer.
“I would pray and beg,” she said. “The easiest time that helped was when I really dedicated my life by taking time to pray and read his word. I pushed my desire away even as if it’s not answered. I needed to flow in happiness. ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.’ Delight means to be happy. I learned how to be happy even when my answer was not there.”
Eventually, through the help of in vitro fertilization, Moore became pregnant with twins and later conceived a third. Her family had moved to Richmond, Kentucky where Chris was the new youth pastor and life was going great. Then, tragedy struck on December 6, 2008. They were traveling on the interstate when they hit a patch of black ice and skidded into a patrol car.
“After the accident we were fine. Chris made the choice to get out of the car and check on the vehicles that were also pulled over to the side after the same event as ours. Another vehicle came in sideways and smacked our vehicle and then our vehicle hit Chris crushing him between 2 vehicles. I noticed he wasn’t around me, and I begin to scream and smack the windshield in hopes that he was around. I was able to escape out of the vehicle, and when I got to him he started saying his goodbyes. He thought he was dying due to seeing sparkles. He told me that he loved me and to tell the kids that he loved them. Immediately, I begin to counteract his thoughts into positive ones. I saw that there was something wrong, but I knew he was communicating well enough that it had to be okay.”
Over the next grueling years of recovery and rehabilitation faith and hope sustained the couple.
“I wasn’t running away from our circumstance. I’ve always depended on my faith and prayer to get me through. God has always been there for me. My relationship with God is all I’ve ever known. I know the difference to have God and to not have God in my life. There’s so much more with God when you place him in your heart and daily life. Did I feel let down that something terrible happened to us? Absolutely! My inner self was confused as to why this had happened. God was all I had to press forward. So I pressed forward with good and bad days.”
Through these events and other challenging times, Moore says it took her a long time to feel like she wasn’t drowning in her own sorrows. But in faith she became a victor, not a victim.
“Sometimes we live life like we have forever to live and that death is not around the corner. Then, we have tragedy strike, and it’s a wake-up call that as humans we are not in control as much as may think we are. The death of loved ones can shake you up when it’s unexpected. It’s like getting phone calls when someone passes away suddenly and it throws you into complete shock. Asking yourself why is all you can ask out loud as you struggle with the confusion and pain. We are never promised tomorrow. Enjoy your families and friends. Be the good and live like Christ. Live like it’s your last day. Let Jesus shine through your daily life because one day people will remember your dash. Your dash is the mark between your birth date and death date. What are people going to remember you for? Don’t take life for granted.”
Broken Being A Victor Not A Victim is available on Amazon. (https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Being-victor-not-victim/dp/B09MYL7NRJ)