How to go on and accept help after a loved one dies

Death. It is not a subject to any of us relish talking about daily. It is something that we all know is going to happen to us, but we go through our lives pretending that it will never happen. It only happens to other spouses, families or friends.

My partner, Steve Oliver, died in February at Eisenhower Hospital. We just missed celebrating our 49th anniversary together in March.

I cannot accurately describe the feelings of loss, sadness and emptiness. It is beyond heartbreaking. I wasn’t prepared for it to happen. I thought he would rally, get better and return home from the hospital. However, it didn’t happen. I got a call late one night to say he had passed. I so wish I had been there to hold his hand from him.

We started every morning having our coffee and reading The Desert Sun. As we got older, our conversations became longer and the companionship of being together was even more special. Now I am reading the paper alone with my cup of coffee. The dogs still lay under the table waiting for some treat, but obviously it is not the same. It is my new normal.

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