After many longing stars and heartbreak through The Vampire DiariesElena eventually chose the older, bad-boy Salvatore brother Damon, but many think that her love for him was not real or as pure as it was for Stefan.
In fact, she made it clear in many of her quotes that her love for Damon was infatuation at best, and her earlier hatred for him was not the enemies-to-lovers kind. Damon had wronged Elena and her friends from her in the worst way possible, so it is not completely off base to imagine that her affections from her for him were not as deep as people thought.
On Damon’s Lack Of Empathy
“I’m not blaming you, Damon. I’ve Accepted The Fact That You’re A Self-Serving Psychopath With No Redeeming Qualities.”
In the early seasons, Damon would have given anything to save TVD‘s powerful villain Katherine because he was in love with her. He killed, maimed, and compelled ruthlessly, and by this time Elena had given up on helping him in any way.
She made it clear that she thought of him to be psychopathic because of how easily he hurt people to get his way and made no bones about it. This comment is cutting and terminal and reserved for someone who will not be forgiven again.
Believed He Wasn’t Worth Saving
“There’s Nothing Good About Him, Stefan. Not Anymore. He’s Decided What He Wants. He Doesn’t Want To Feel. He Wants To Be Hated. It’s Just Easier That Way. He Got His Wish.”
Elena was a young woman who liked to believe the best in people, no matter the gray areas they revealed. So, when she proclaimed that Damon was not worth saving and that he did not have a shred of goodness in his body, it meant that she truly felt that.
Damon may have been one of the best characters in The Vampire Diaries, but he had been hated by many for his actions. Elena made it clear that she despised him too, and it’s hard to believe that that could transform into eternal love.
Didn’t Want To Associate With Him
“I Made Myself Clear, Damon. I Want Nothing To Do With You.”
Time and time again, Elena gave Damon the chance to prove himself in front of her, and each time he only showed her the worst parts of himself. Even when he professed his love from her to her and made it clear that he could do anything for her, she would show him the door of her.
After he used Caroline, turned Bonnie’s mother, attacked Bonnie and Jeremy, and killed Lexi, among countless other crimes, Elena was done with him. She told him that she didn’t want to be around him anymore, but he still wore her down.
Called Him Names, Again
“It Flares Up In The Presence Of Psychopaths.”
Some of the worst things on The Vampire Diaries were done by Damon, and Elena went to the basest levels of insulting him — by calling him names. This wasn’t the first time she had called him a psychopath either. She must have really believed it to say it to him so many times.
Damon mocked her for her righteousness, to which she snapped back and said it flared in his hateful presence. Neither of the two liked each other’s dominant traits, and Elena did not hesitate to tell him where he stood in her life de ella.
Her Choice Was Always Stefan
“No, No, Damon, Listen, I Care About You. Gone. But I Love Stefan. It’s Always Gonna Be Stefan.”
Many believe that Stefan and Elena were a better pair than the show’s main “will-they-won’t-they” romance, and they may have been onto something. Elena’s one true love for her was Stefan, someone who always respected her, the choices she made for her, and was a better person overall. She herself told a love-struck Damon that it would always be Stefan.
Elena’s love for the younger Salvatore was something special, and that doesn’t die easily. This quote proves that her first choice of her would always be him, and not Damon.
Never Accepted Damon As He Was
“Okay, You And Damon Were Both Right. I Was Trying To Change Him. But If He Wants To Be In My Life…”
Acceptance is the buttress of true love. If someone really cares for another, they accept them with their flaws and as they are, instead of trying to change them into someone who would potentially be a good partner. You can mutually make each better naturally instead of forcing change.
Elena’s problem was that she was always trying to make Damon a better person or a different one, so she was always in love with an idea of him. The real Damon was not good enough to be in her life de ella, as she told Caroline here, and her many attempts at changing the vampire into someone else showed how weak her love de ella was for him really was.
She Was Always Confused About Him
“When I’m With Him, He Just Consumes Me. And I Know That I Can’t Love Them Both. I Know That It’s Wrong But I … When I Choose One, Then I’ll Lose The Other. And I Don’t Want To Lose Anyone Else.”
Much of Elena’s conversation about Damon was about how consumed she was, or how confused she was between the Salvatores. This quote makes it seem like her partnership with Damon was founded on infatuation, and her actual affections for Stefan made an appearance sometimes.
She didn’t want to lose Stefan by choosing Damon, so she resisted being with Damon for a long time. If she was certain about him and the kind of partner he would be, she would have picked him a long time back.
Pitied Damon, But Didn’t Love Him
“You Know, I Really Think That Damon Believes That Everything He’s Done, Every Move That He’s Made, He’s Done For Love. It’s Twisted, But…Kind Of Sad.”
In between the hatred, infatuation, and indecision, Elena found time to pity Stefan’s brother. Love barely had any space to grow amidst all these complex emotions, but if Elena did love Damon, she would not pity him for his struggles de ella.
She thought of him as someone who could not reason out his actions and someone who was innately twisted on the inside. Why she would love someone whom she thought so less of is unfathomable.
Found Him Creepy
“You’re Overage. And, Honestly, It’s Kinda Creepy.”
No-humanity Elena said what everyone else had been thinking from the beginning: Damon’s weird older presence in a group of high schoolers was really creepy. There was no reason for him to hang around them unless he wanted to prey on them, which he did several times.
This sounded a lot like honesty from an Elena who didn’t want to spare anyone’s emotions any longer. If she found Damon so disturbing her for being around her friends, where was the love of her?
Stefan Was Her Epic Love
“It’s You And Me, Stefan. Always.”
In this world, it was obvious that Elena’s first and last love was Stefan. She really appreciated him for who he was as a person, his traits of him, and the mutual respect was there in spades. They had a healthy relationship which she recognized, which was why she so openly spoke about him being her endgame.
If Elena had stuck around longer on the show, she would have most likely found her way back to Stefan and summarized her amazing relationship with him. Damon was just a momentary hitch in her grand love story with Ella and Stefan.
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